Dating or Marry

I am in general very friendly person but when it comes to in-laws the conflict seems to be inevitable. At least it was that way with my first marriage. I also have heard from numerous people (mostly women) that mother-in-law relationships is like a curse of having a good husband. Most women wonder how their kind, generous, sympathetic husband can somehow be related to their mothers. I always used to say that men usually marry someone who reminds him his mother so admit it or not, you also have a bouquet of surprises and some attitude.

The main reason I love to spend time with my current mother-in-law is because she does not live with us, near us or in this world. It might make me look mean and ungrateful but I have heard stories about her wild character and wouldn’t want to be a victim of that. I do with whatever I can make a feeling of her presence in our life. I framed her pictures with and without my husband, I keep photo albums close enough to show my guests or just for a nostalgic evening with my husband. I love spending time reading the books she read. One can tell a lot from the books the person prefers. She was into psychological and almost mysterious novels and even though she was born to a catholic family her soul was closer to Buddhism.

I do regret for not knowing my mother-in-law sometimes. As my husband and I talk I discover more and more that we have so much in common, same philosophy on life, everyday things and big love for the same man. The latter would drive us jealous but my husband would get to enjoy her company. The only thing I can do for now is to keep a memory about her and pass it to our kids, same would be to my father-in-law. People come and go but memories will stay longer in their deeds, pictures, movies and books.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Everybody should get married once in their lifetime, otherwise they might be missing out on much. You might be living with somebody for over thirty years and still not be married but imagine the miracle of giving the vows in front of witnesses to god and then following them throughout your life! Well, that last line sounded too naïve but who cares, as long as two people can live together in love and respect. I don’t hide that I always wanted to get married and have kids and a big happy family but something was telling me that it will take a lot of sacrifice. One of the biggest sacrifices is lack of time for everything. I suffer the most from losing my hobbies.

I remember I was a very cheerful girl with a basket full of hobbies. Dancing, traveling, sports and painting. I used to enjoy every minute of it. Now I simply enjoy just having a minute to get my nails done or taking a cat nap. That’s how tough the life of a married woman is. I am still cheerful but more simpler things now make me happy. Interests change as well. None of your single girl friends will enjoy the stories about your baby having their first tooth or saying their first word. Say good-bye to clubs and bikinis. If you were a sports chick don’t even keep your gym membership as you won’t have time for such a nonsense.

It’s too sad to say but the only hobby I was able to keep after I got married is cooking and baking. I love to cook and bake all kinds of pies and pastries. You can’t imagine a better choice in your life than to get married if your hobby is cooking. Everybody loves my cooking. The only joy and trick of having friends to visit you is to invite them for dinner and some fun time. At the same time I don’t want to end up with my pots and dishes for the rest of my life.

It can be hard to find just a man in your life who wouldn’t live in his parents’ basement and have a decent job but we are aiming at the perfect man. When you go to Sephora to buy perfume do you smell all possible advertised brands and end up with a headache? Well it’s the same with men, you have to try so many of them before you find your perfect one that by the end of the hunt you feel dizzy, exhausted and ready to settle for not only second best but any best.

If you are determined to find a perfect man for you then we are on the right track. See the difference: perfect man and perfect man for you. Coming back to perfume shopping it’s the same concept- there are some stinky fragrances some women find fascinating. We are all lucky we have different tastes. Otherwise we would all be after Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves.

What’s so special about finding your perfect man is that it’s almost custom made especially for you. You have always wanted him to have good table manners and to be sensitive towards your family and relatives. You would never care whether he is tall, dark or handsome. As long as he takes good care of his teeth and nails he is the perfect man for you. You might have been dating someone in the past and even didn’t realize that he was perfect for you. As time passes not only women but men as well tend to change or eliminate some of the criteria they wouldn’t give up in the past. Sometimes coming back to your old love might open your eyes to many things. Like he wasn’t as ugly as you thought or you didn’t like him only because your girlfriends didn’t like him. Now these girls are not even around and you can date him again.

Finding is not that hard as we see, it’s the recognition part that we silly women tend to miss. Next time you meet someone nice, don’t look at his big ears, he might be another Bill Gates and just perfect for you in all other ways.

I always believed that one should always consult with their partner before making even small decisions. I was brought up that way and my mom used to tell me that a family is a little country where everybody should work hard in order to be strong. I have sisters whose husband have bought cars even without telling their wives and I remember I was surprised they did that. Today is my turn to be surprised with my husband. He did buy a car and he didn’t even tell me. He should have at least asked me what color I liked. The engine and all that stuff might not be my strong points but I can differentiate colors and definitely have a favorite one.

When I go grocery shopping I always ask my husband what does he want for dinner and whether he wants orange juice with or without pulp. He makes his choice and I always listen to him. I bring him his favorite food. I enjoy when my husband goes shopping with me because I can ask his opinion and buy something we both like. I would much better enjoy wearing shoes that he thinks are cute and beautiful rather than shoes that I like but he thinks are ugly. The questions regarding upbringing kids should be discussed and I would definitely consult my husband before taking them to particular school.

It must be hard for my husband to remember what I tell him every time about two people making one decision together but I will try to remind him every so often it’s importance. Consulting means respect and caring of one’s feelings and opinion as well as point of view. I want to show my husband and my family member how much they are important to me by asking them what they think about particular things. It is important, however not to cross the border lines and annoy your loved ones with unnecessary questions and tiny decisions that better off making by yourself.

Why do many people strive to make people around them believe they are rich while many rich people just dress simple, talk and walk simple?! It’s all about self-sufficiency and self-realization. Everybody is rich in comparison. For the young generation who is trying to get the into upper level with no relatives to help and connections to rely on my tips are. Why would I just give them out for free? Maybe just because I am a very generous person and distribute my wealth as I wish!

The rich have their own ways to look and behave. I will not try to change anybody like in “My fair lady” teaching etiquette and manners, just some tricks when you get to an upscale environment and have no idea what to do with that bowl of roses they brought you at the table. No, rich people don’t eat bowls of roses, it’s not first course, it’s rather something that will make you comfortable to touch that sparkling silverware and spotless napkins. It’s water to wash your hands in. It would be funny to see you sipping that liquid while everybody wash their hands in. Anyway, let’s move on. Wearing Prada, Gucci or other loud brand names won’t make you look rich but only redneck.

Nice suit from Hermes that is not too cocky will do the trick. Their leather bags are great accessories as well. A younger man who is just entering the network of the elite society needs more support than a first grade child seeing his peers and teacher for the first time. Stop listening to those tracks of yours and don’t mention to anybody that you love country, old good Frank Sinatra will smooth rich and tough to reach hearts better than your country. What’s inside of your wide hips truck might cost as much as Bentley’s but the outside impression is different. Why do you need that BBW anyway?! Leave her with your past, now we have another things to carry. As a very sophisticated conversation. People forget about how you even look when they hear you speak well, win them over with that quality. What else can I say?!

Have you heard about the recent scam of acai berry magic drinks? They supposedly help you not only loose weight but also become younger, beautiful and energized. We all know by now that all berries are good for us, but the magical effect of acai is best in the bottle. It is so concentrated that you should drink only five ounces a day, otherwise you become too healthy and maybe even turn into a baby. Anyway, ignore all that nonsense, they have made their millions already on less smart people so be the opposite.

How to stay healthy without draining your pockets? Stay away from processed and fast foods. Fast food is not as cheap as it sounds. Of course you are getting more of cholesterol, fat, sodium, sugar and trans fat for less money but for the same amount of money you can have healthier food from a local grocery store.

Have you ever had a wonderful experience of yoga or pilates? The gym you have been avoiding might be offering those classes and it’s definitely much cheaper than hiring a private instructor. Those revolutionized exercises are proven to help in our daily living, I don’t forget to buy milk anymore. My mind is clear and lower back pain is gone like its never been there. Another thing I have noticed is that I eat less, feel lighter and even blossoming without any acai magic drinks. All it took is yoga and pilates a couple times a week.

Another great idea to be healthy and stay that way is sleep. The average American owes his body over 200 thousand hours of sleep a year and there are only 872760 hours in one year. Traffic, work, unemployment, neighbor’s new car, all those things don’t let us sleep at night. Nevertheless try to sleep more, at least you will eat less and your skin will clear up.

My husband and I tried almost everything possible to make him stop snoring. He even had surgery, uvulopalatopharyngoplasty to remove excess tissue from his throat. It seemed to be helping for awhile but he started snoring again. Neither me nor him are getting enough rest and feel sleepy all day. He snores even when he lies on his side, which wouldn’t happen before. Sometimes I get so angry I kick him and try to take away the blanket so he wakes up from feeling cold.

I should tell women around the world not to waste money on all those nasal strips and throat sprays as they simply do not work. There is another gadget on the market that they advertise so actively- mouth guard, which helps to elevate upper palate and keep the tongue down. It is supposedly guaranteed or your money back. I don’t usually believe in all those latest remedies because they turn out to be useless so I will let my girlfriend’s husband try it first! In the United States there are about 300 devices registered that assist in reducing snoring. I don’t plan on trying all of them on my husband since the surgery didn’t help.

The latest idea I had about the ways on getting enough rest was to escape to another bedroom where I won’t be able to hear the tractor working. I did that only several times as I love falling asleep next to my husband and waking up to see him first thing in the morning. I missed him a lot in the next bedroom so I called for him. When he came and after he fell asleep started snoring I left to our master bedroom. I think we will keep on sleeping in our bedroom until… I will start snoring and our scores will be equal.

I don’t need anybody to tap on my shoulder and say “Good job!” but at the same time I don’t like people, especially my husband to notice only my mistakes and ignore the good things that I do. He might not even ignore, he just doesn’t see them. Have you ever heard that anger creates only anger? Well, it’s so true with me. I do take criticism but I have to respond back with something even worse that will hurt even deeper. I have a clear mind that what I am doing is not right, I just want my husband to praise me sometimes. Not even praise, women love compliments and I would love to hear them more often.

I love sports, who doesn’t?! I showed an intense desire to learn how to swim and my husband was happy to teach me until he found out it’s hard for me to learn. Instead of saying that I am doing much better than the first week he says that my strokes are weak. I am not training for the Olympic games or crossing the ocean, I just want to float in our pool! Honestly I am afraid that if I will swim a lot and have strong strokes thus stroke hands they might become very masculine. I love being girly girl and men helping me to lift my carry-on in the planes, I would rather not change that. So I gave up swimming. Swimming with my husband.

I will let whoever is reading this to judge for himself/herself but I had a test last month and I really needed help because it was math. My husband is a genius, he knows everything and I show him my admiration all the time. I studied for that test by myself but there were too many questions in my beautiful head. I was somewhat embarrassed and scared to ask my husband for help but his face showed up in my office room and he knew I was in trouble with my math books. He explained to me only once and when I didn’t get it he criticized me again. He said his niece knows math better than me and even if she didn’t she would get it from the first time or figure out herself. I was beaten up.

When those endorphins kick in do you have time to think about something substantial? Do you women think about dinner, doing the laundry or going to the gym after or using those coupons to get the best deals on groceries?

I would never know as woman’s chain of thoughts can go on and on so long that at last she forgets where she had started. Some people doubt that women do think at all, so forget about questioning what do they think while having sex. To those skeptics I may say that those processes do really happen in a woman’s brain and as a result it delays or sometimes even disturbs the orgasm.

I have caught myself several times thinking about my partner having nice brown eyes but then quickly brought my thoughts back to the most important thing. Some women say things while they have sex but do they really mean what they say? If you want to know the truth whether your girlfriend loves you never ask her while you two are having sex. It seems like the right time to talk about love but is it really time to talk? You are risking to turn your partner off forever. As a man you don’t know what’s going on in her little head so you’re better off just kissing it.

I always get hungry when I have sex so as I was having it once I was thinking about the food I will be eating later. It made me even more hungry, no not letter “o” after “h” and r changed places with n, no. Hungry! But I am not one of those women who would be reading magazines while he is working hard. I participate in the process and even add my own moves to it, however I cannot force myself not to think at all. I am too embarrassed to share my thoughts with my partner though so I keep my eyes rolling and lips smiling. I still wonder what do other women think. Hopefully it’s not being out of milk and eggs like me.

Although I had several mind blowing affairs, none ended with marriage. It is simply because love and marriage not always go hand in hand. Mind blowing affairs are only good in your memoirs when you are eighty something years old and remember men in your life once in a while. I want to tell a story about one of my mind blowing affairs that I will never forget but even if he would ask me to marry him I wouldn’t be able to say “Yes”.

He was my second cousin. Even if he was my fifths cousin I still would be too embarrassed to admit to my mom and anybody else that I was in love with a relative. We didn’t grow up together, I saw him only on big holidays. But when I saw him as a teenager he was already in college and made a big impression on me. He was visiting us during his summer break and I wish I wasn’t that friendly with him. It was one of those silly childish falling in love impressions but I felt guilty for a long time. He helped my dad with some things outside of the house and was topless while doing that. His young and fresh body got sun burned and it only made him even more sexier. I couldn’t take my eyes off his body. Too shy to look into his eyes, maybe afraid he will look back I didn’t dare.

He stayed for almost the whole month with us and every day we would play tennis, ride bikes, do all kinds of silly stuff. Every time his body would touch mine I would tremble and almost faint. It was so hot and electrolyzed I would lose my speech. The night before he was leaving we almost kissed, and I knew he had feelings for me as well. I cried all night. Not because he was leaving but because we could never have an intimate relationship. He wrote many letters explaining to me why we cannot be together even though we loved each other so much, he promised he would always be the best big brother and care for me for the rest of his life.